Can you be honest? To yourself?
And toward others, if it is needed?
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private_story professional_responsibility vulnerability
In the last months, I have been invited for 5 events as a speaker, as a professional – all in this autumn-winter season. There are smaller, and quite big events too, in Hungarian, in English, personally, online.
In the past years, I truly believe I was building my career consciously, to collect the fruits of my efforts with time. And here I am now, with tears of bittersweet joy in my eyes. Because all these are really honourable invitations, great opportunities. Not speaking about the other projects, collaborations started earlier but set aside…
And here comes the professional responsibility. However, I was always a maximalist, and I still have a lot to learn – for now, I can believe it too, that indeed, in some areas, I have the ability to be present as an expert. And now, yet I don’t do it. The awaited opportunities came one after the other, and with bleeding heart, I had to refuse them one after the other.
I was feeling not well.
I had a period in my life, that seemed to be hard even for myself. And in this situation, I was feeling right to pay attention inside, to myself. Because I only can give anything to others, if I also do well. And this is my responsibility – to recognize and before all, to accept this. My limitations. My weakest moments. That now, I may be the one, who needs the help. And whenever I gain back my strength, I can support the others again.
It can not go that way when the focus is somewhere else. Or it may can. But really not how it should be. It would not be all right, not according to my values.
So for a while, I had to pay attention inside. To live my limitations, to live my weakness. And to stay up stronger from it. So then I can give this strength further, during my coaching sessions, or training, or any other of my services.
I feel that I started to get better.
I know this because I am more open to the things of the world again. New impressions help a lot, for example, the school I started this September. Management and Leadership MA in English. I am still forming my new routine together with this, but I manage to gather and catch myself more and more. I also try new things. But now, not as a distraction, but truly, honestly living them, with inclusion.
